Confessions of a Burgling Squirrel


The new year is twelve days old;
my resolves, already dissolved,
have been thrown out in the cold.

My diet failed, my morals too.
I ask you, what’s a squirrel to do?

My winter coat is fitting tight,
Quite pleasingly, as you can see.
Even so, I must watch my weight.

And just to you, I now confess.
(If you tell, I’ll claim duress.)

Despite my bounteous hidden stash,
(there is plenty more, let me assure)
I’ve committed deeds both bold and brash.

I stole the woodchuck’s favored seed;
I figured, how much could he need?

I pilfered the robin’s suet ball,
I am so ashamed; I accept the blame.
I really can’t offer any excuse at all.

But there is more, oh woe is me.
It is stolen but it isn’t free:

My conscience will not let me sleep.
I turn and toss in my bed of moss
and when I awake I eat and eat,

But the worst of all, as a bad crime goes,
I’m munching on the snowman’s nose.

13 thoughts on “Confessions of a Burgling Squirrel

  1. BoardFlak

    A squirrel is one of nature’s cleverest thieves. I forget it it was Animal Planet or Discovery Channel, but some years back there were two programs about squirrels where they sat up various obstacles and the squirrels beat them all. There was even one fairly long obstacle course, and the squirrel went along it practically at a dead run. As always, I enjoy your take on things.

  2. Hi Michael,

    So glad to see you here.

    I love squirrels. They are so clever, and when they know they’re being watched
    they really turn on the antics.

    Thank you for taking time to comment and for the kind words.

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